Find out what are some of the most common problems for couples who are in a long-distance relationship (LDR). In this relationship advice article, you will also find the secrets and tips in overcoming these problems in order to keep the relationship healthy.
When two people who live in places distant from each other start dating, or when one of them has to move somewhere far, a long-distance romantic relationship begins to blossom. When I was a kid, my father had to go abroad because of his job. I saw the challenges that he and my mom had to go through. But their relationship survived so yours can work, too!
We are lucky enough to live in a digital era where we can communicate easily through Skype or Facebook. Gone are the days of suffering from expensive long-distance calls, going to the post office, and having to wait for many days to receive a letter from someone stationed overseas.
Yet with all of the technological marvels the world currently offers us, one thing remains true to the core: Technology can’t make up for everything. Long-distance relationships still pose challenges, and it’s up to you and your partner how to make things work out.
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Common Long-Distance Relationship (LDR) Problems And How To Fix Them
Will your relationship come out stronger despite the distance between the two of you? Here are some common problems found in long-distance relationships and how you can deal with them.
This tops the list because everyone in a long-distance relationship sees it as a challenge.
You will be missing his comforting hugs when you feel down, the way he pats your shoulder for a job well done, or how he holds your hand tightly as you walk around the park. It is hard not being in the presence of your special someone, and it hurts.
The fix: Take your LDR as a new opportunity of seeing your partner in a way that does not simply rely on the physical aspect. You can get to know him more and see how he reaches for his hopes and dreams. Try to avoid thinking that he is not with you now, but instead, be hopeful and prepare for the day you will see him again. Get each other a matching pair of couple bracelets as a stand-in for each other’s physical presence.
Getting jealous is normal in a relationship. The problem arises when it becomes overwhelming.
It could be due to another girl, a friend, or even a pet you think your man is giving too much attention to. Sadly, this jealousy can be more intense especially when your partner is far away from you. You will tend to overthink things, call or text him all the time, and get jealous over innocent posts in social media. However, please take note that too much jealousy can break your relationship.
The fix: Express what you truly feel, but do so in a careful manner. Tell your partner that there are certain things making you jealous, and ask him if he can try to avoid those things. Don’t force him though. Additionally, you can work on your own insecurities. Increase your self-confidence and accept that your boyfriend is not your property.
Distance and Time is a killer combo of a problem for couples in long-distance relationship.
You’re lucky if your partner only lives in a different state because him living in a different time zone is a bummer. Living in different continents is worse as you might just be starting your day, while your partner is already ending his, or vice versa. Add to that your different work or school breaks, hobbies, and sleeping preferences.
The fix: Schedule your time with each other. This may sound monotonous, but it works. Find a time when you and your partner are both free and make it a priority to call each other during that period. If you two are too busy, devote this time to focusing on each other, without any distractions. Keep yourself inspired with one of these quotes about long-distance relationship.
This issue is related to the previous one. Since the time you virtually spend with your partner can be limited to a few hours or even minutes per day, you will surely miss him a lot. This can be very challenging but with the right coping mechanism, you can get over it.
The fix: Keep something that belongs to your partner. It could be a piece of clothing or a symbol of your love. Don’t forget to put his picture in a frame, too. By doing these, the pain of missing him will eventually subside. You can spice things up by sending each other postcards or gifts from time to time. This way, you two will always be reminded of each other.
All couples have fought at one point in their lives. But it gets harder when you are far away from each other because you cannot simply run to him and hug him when you fight. Arguing also gets harder as you cannot see each other’s facial expressions in real-time. Chances are, one of you will hang up when an argument heats up quickly.
The fix: Communication and understanding are the keys to solving this problem. You are each other’s confidants, so you know each other well enough to understand what you two are going through. When you feel like your boyfriend’s getting mad over something little, take deep breaths and do your best to understand him. Ask him what’s bothering him and avoid saying things that might make the argument escalate.
The longer you spend time away from each other, the more not so interesting conversations you’ll have. After all, talking is the main thing you do with your partner in an LDR. Uninteresting conversations can manifest because it mainly consists of what you did during the day. There might also be a point where the fun stops and you do not know what to say next. Hence, the dreaded awkward silence.
The fix: Try to expand the topics you talk about. You can go outside at night and tell him how much you like the full moon, or how you cooked your dinner today. Tell him the funny things which happened during the day, no matter how small they may seem. You can also play games or sing to him (try to hit all the notes though) during a video call.
They say that a relationship can’t work out without trust. This is true but it gets more difficult when you just started being in an LDR. Distance can make feel paranoid about what your partner is really doing while you’re away. You have doubts about whether your lover tells you the truth all the time. This is normal, especially for a relationship bound by geographical limitations. However, a lack of trust is a relationship red flag and can be toxic to your relationship.
The fix: Try not to be paranoid all the time. Do not let that paranoia make you stalk or smother him. If your partner does not give you reasons why you shouldn’t trust him, then you have to take a leap of faith. The more you believe in your relationship, the more relaxed you will be.
Another problem of being in an LDR is the tendency of the couple growing apart. Sometimes, this happens without a couple noticing it. It can start as small as not replying to text messages, or canceling video calls. Then, it becomes bigger and before you know it, the relationship is over. You are both hurt and blame it on the distance between you two.
The fix: You have to make sure that your relationship is founded on strong ground. Many people in a long-distance relationship grow apart because they do not know themselves that well. So allow yourself and your partner to know yourselves more. Go to the mall alone or find new hobbies. Acknowledge that you are two different people in your own right. That’s totally okay because being in a relationship means that you are two whole individuals, who happen to be right for each other.
Imagine this: Valentine’s Day is coming up. Your partner is a thousand miles away and that makes you feel alone.
You cannot go on a date nor exchange gifts in person. That is understandable, but you cannot let it break your spirit.
The fix: Spend time with your family of friends instead during special occasions when your boyfriend is not around. Sprinkle that loneliness with positivity. Take it this way: You now have extra time to spend with other people you love, which allows you to grow not just as a girlfriend, but as a family member and a friend as well.
The last but not the least is the issue of intimacy. Intimacy plays a key role in the sustenance of a strong relationship. After all, you are sexual adults who crave intimacy at times. However, being intimate is not that conventional for people in an LDR.
The fix: Be open about your sexuality. If you want to be intimate with your partner, you can send him an intimate text, and a flying kiss or a virtual hug during a video call. If you want to take it up a notch, there’s always room for pictures and costumes (wink). Lastly, get him a naughty gift to remind him of you.
What is the biggest problem you face in a long distance relationship?
An LDR is not for the faint-hearted. It is a test of true love between two people who are willing to choose each other despite the continents and oceans between them. When your love is real, nothing can separate you.