Ending a relationship with someone hurts. Additionally, being in a long distance relationship is difficult. Add the two together and what do you get a long-distance breakup which is probably one of the most difficult breakups you have to go through. But don’t worry, here’s a step-by-step guide on how to break up with someone in a long-distance relationship.

Not knowing how to properly break up with someone can be a nightmare― one that will be hard to get over. Since you and your partner are in a long-distance relationship (LDR), breaking up with him in person may not be a viable option. The next best option is doing it through a voice call or video call. Thanks to various apps such as Facebook Messenger, Skype, and WhatsApp, breaking up with someone over long distance online is an option that you should definitely consider.

Depending on the circumstances, it’s possible that you haven’t seen your partner for months or even years. Throughout this period of time, you might have felt the heavy weight of not having him physically around. Which is why we totally understand if you want to break up with him as soon as possible. After all, giving a heads up can benefit him especially if he wants to plan things for the two of you get back together (physically). No matter what your reason is for your long-distance breakup, good for you for having made up your mind.

We know it’s hard, but don’t fret because we put up a guide to breaking up with your long-distance boyfriend or girlfriend.

Related: 10 Relationship Red Flags To Watch Out For

Related: 10 Long-Distance Relationship Problems & Fixes

How To Break Up (Gently) With Someone Long-Distance

Things To Do Before The Long Distance Breakup

Preparation for the long-distance relationship breakup

Preparation is key to a successful and gentle breakup.

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1. Open up to a confidant.

Before the breakup call, it’s best to talk to someone you truly trust-your mother, your best friend, etc. Doing this will help you process your thoughts and feelings before the breakup. You can get some advice from them, too. This is great because they are people who care for you and they can also look at your long-distance relationship objectively.

2. Schedule the breakup call.

While this may sound cold, scheduling your breakup is a good thing, especially when you live in different time zones. Make sure that you and your boyfriend are both awake at that time, and are not tired from work or school — or worse, at work or school. So the weekend is probably the best time for the long-distance breakup call.

Also, if your boyfriend or girlfriend has a big exam or work presentation coming up, try to schedule the breakup call after that so the breakup won’t affect his studies or work. It’s best if you hold the breakup for a couple of days. After all, you will want the same courtesy extended to you if you were in his or her position.

3. Prepare a script.

This step might sound awkward but doing this helps make the process a little bit less hurtful for both parties. It doesn’t have to be a detailed script, but rather an outline of the things you have to say during the call. Chances are, even if you are the one who initiates the breakup, things will still be emotional for you. The script can help you remember everything you want to say and stay on course.

During the Long-Distance Breakup

The Actual Act of Breaking Up A Long-Distance Relationship

Things that happen when you ask for a breakup.

1. Start by saying directly what you think.

Being in a long-distance breakup call can be dreadful. That’s why you need to be direct in sharing what you think about your relationship. Factor in the limited time that you and your boyfriend might have for this breakup call, so you need to be concise and get to the point.

You can go with something like this: “This is hard to say, but I have to tell you that I cannot be in this relationship anymore.”

2. Give your partner some time to process his feelings.

It’s best to be silent after saying that you don’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore. You have to give him time to feel what he has to feel. More often than not, he will react by asking questions and might even displaying strong emotions, which lead us to the next step.

3. Explain your decision.

In order not to leave your boyfriend or girlfriend confused, you have to state the reasons why you decided to break up with him. The long distance between the two of you might probably be the main reason. If there are other reasons, you have to tell him as well, no matter how small or petty they seem.

4. Keep calm.

Even after your explanation, your boyfriend might still cry or get angry at you. If this happens and you cry or get angry, too, you can pause the call. This will allow you and your boyfriend to have some time to get your composure back. But don’t forget to call him back at a later time to end the breakup talk properly.

5. Express gratitude.

The best way to end a long-distance breakup talk is thanking him for all the moments you spent together. You can say that you will always be grateful for everything he has done for you, but it’s time to let go now since things are not working out anymore. A rule of thumb: do not thank him excessively because this can backfire on you.

After the Long-Distance Breakup

Things To Do After A Long-Distance Breakup

What is done is done, now what?

1. Clearly say where this breakup is headed.

Your long-distance ex-boyfriend might ask for a second chance and try to get you back, but you have to be firm with your decision. If you think he cannot be your friend after the long-distance breakup, then tell him so, but gently. You can say something like: “I don’t think we should contact each other anymore.”

But if you think you can be friends in the future, you can say that too. Saying something like: “Though we did not work out as a couple, we can still be friends in the future. But for now, we have to give each other time to recover.”

2. Care for yourself.

Focus on yourself this time. Love yourself more by doing things that make you happy. It could be shopping, going to the gym, traveling, etc. Whatever it is that makes you happy, do it without doubts, because it will really help you in dealing with the aftermath of your long-distance breakup. Again, even if you’re the one initiating the breakup, it doesn’t mean that you are cold-hearted and don’t feel the pain. Give yourself time to heal by doing something you enjoy.

A Guide Is Just A Guide

Each couple has a unique relationship, and breakups are no different. There is no universal way to break up with someone properly. Just trust yourself, because deep down there, you know what’s best for you.

And remember, time will heal every wound. Eventually, you will realize that there is something better in store for you.

Bonus Content

Long-Distance Breakup Stories

There are some LDR breakup stories at www.youbrokeuphow.com

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