Technology has given us the gift of connecting with others from all over the globe. No longer limited by physical proximity, couples are finding each other and falling in love, without needing to be in person. This kind of relationship is wonderful, but it takes time, energy and communication to work well.
Over time, these relationships may grow or shift, either together or apart. Distance is a real challenge, and it can be hard to process a significant relationship when there are limited, in-person consequences.
Detecting the Subtle Signs That A Relationship May Be Headed for a Breakup
When handling a potential breakup in person, there is generally some form of communication involved. You can gauge the health of your relationship from the little signals, such as the amount of physical time spent together, hanging out, or going on dates.
However, when the relationship is built online (we’ve come a long way from LDRs maintained through snail mail correspondence), things become much more complicated. Here are some signs that your relationship might be headed toward a breakup.
6 Long-Distance Relationship Breakup Signs
Your relationship may be in trouble if you experience one or more of the following symptoms.
1. They won’t return your calls or texts
This is an obvious, early sign that something is wrong. Texting and calling are typically primary forms of communication in long-distance relationships. It’s worth giving your partner some space for a couple of days, and checking back in. The distance could have very little to do with you, and everything to do with that’s going on in their lives, but you won’t know until you hear from them directly.
If they’re still not responding after a few days, it might be time to send a more detailed message explaining your concerns, and requesting an update. When this happens consistently, it may or may not mean that he is cheating on you; but one thing is certain, his interest level in you and the relationship is very low and that a breakup is a possibility in the near future.
2. They’re opening up messages on social platforms, but not responding
Yes. Your partner is ghosting you. Social media provides us with rich, immersive ways to share parts of our days with others. We’ve been given an incredibly powerful tool, which can also misrepresent the truth in our own lives, and in the lives of others. If the two of you are consistently connected through social media and they are not responding or replying to messages like they normally would, consider reaching out through other methods, just to check-in. It could be something simple, or there could be a bit more to the radio silence. If your partner is ghosting you, or if you’re ghosting your partner, maybe that’s a sign that one of you isn’t as interested as the other anymore.
3. They’re not taking time to listen to your concerns
Healthy partnerships are built upon communication and trust. If your guy is not taking time to understand or listen to your concerns about your relationship, it could be an indicator that there are deeper, unresolved issues that need to be addressed.
Your partner might not understand how important this conversation or these concerns might be to you, so do your best to calmly explain why you’re feeling the way that you are. If things stay the way they are even after you try to approach the problem in a mature manner, chances are the other party is just not that interested anymore and that your relationship may be heading towards a breakup.
4. They are making you feel as though nothing is wrong
There are times where couples experience miscommunication, but in general, there are clear explanations as to why something may have shifted in your relationship dynamic.
Pay close attention to the way these changes are explained. Don’t allow someone to tell you that nothing is wrong, or try and convince you that you’re looking too far into something. Trust your instincts, and be willing to have a tough conversation if your concerns are not being addressed as they should be. Don’t allow your counterpart to gaslight you (convincing you of an alternate truth) and go with your gut.
5. They aren’t respecting your previously set boundaries
Boundaries exist to support the limits and comfort of each partner. If you’ve set boundaries in the past and your other half is not respecting those limits, ask them why. Those who push against boundaries are generally ones who will “suffer” from those limits being enforced.
No one should push you to do things that you don’t want to do. You should never feel pressured to send content or to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, for the sake of your relationship.
6. They are increasingly unavailable, with no explanation
Life happens, people get busy, work or homework piles up. But over time, if you’re noticing more significant spaces of unaccounted for time (entire evenings, days, weekends with no communication), it’s worth checking in to see what’s going on.
If no explanation is offered, share your concerns, and ask for some clarification or insight into how things are progressing. If they aren’t offering time and space to talk, or even just a simple, truthful reason why they’ve suddenly become unavailable, consider that there might need to be more serious conversations in the future.
You are worthy of love, thoughtful attention, and care in your relationships. Every relationship dynamic will look a little different, however, there are some standards you should uphold when building a long-distance connection. Take time to communicate and express your concerns; if things do end, remember that there are still so many bright things ahead, and that time is a necessary ingredient when mending a broken heart.
Articles about Long-Distance Relationship
1. What are some of the most common challenges in a distance relationship? If you’re starting a new LDR, or if you’re looking for ways to fix your problematic partnership, you will find this list of problems and fixes helpful.
2. Many LDR lovers are college students who are looking for ways to make their long-distance love work. Here is some advice for students who have to juggle both challenging college coursework and a distance relationship.
3. What better ways to keep you and your partner inspired than some beautiful and meaningful quotes about LDR? Check out these illustrated quotes that you should share with your SO.
4. Looking for a gift to surprise your boyfriend or girlfriend with? Check out these gifts that are perfect for LDR lovers.
5. Is the person you’re going to distance with your boyfriend? Whatever the occasion is, surprise him with one of these gifts for guys.
6. And if that special occasion is the V-day, here’s an LDR gift guide dedicated to Valentine’s Day Gifts.
7. Unfortunately, sometimes things won’t always work out the way you want them to be. When that happens, here are some tips on how you can break up with them gently.