Many of us grow up under our mom’s watchful and caring eye 👀. Mom tends to be the parent who pays attention to detail and knows which shirt is your favorite and always has it washed before you go out for the weekend. Moms are the ones who knew you had a big crush before you ever told them, just from the look in your eyes. Moms are the people who know your story from the very beginning.
As we age and there aren’t 4-hour road trips to soccer tournaments or sleepovers at your house with all your giggly pre-teen friends, that bond with mom often changes. When we step into adulthood, most people still look to their mom for advice and know that she will always be a safe place, but it may not be as easy to “bare your soul” when you have become an adult and both you and your mom have grown and changed.
❓ Question Game with Mom ❓ Questions to Ask Your Mother to See How Much She Knows You
So, how do you reconnect and rebuild that mother-child bond you had in the early days? Here is a list of questions to help spark meaningful conversations with your mother.
1) Who are my closest friends?
The people we surround ourselves with can say a lot about who we are. Mom knowing who your friends are shows you that she knows the kind of characteristics you are drawn to in others.
In addition, knowing the answer to this question means your mom knows who to call if she is worried about you or wants to throw you a surprise party. It also indicates that she knows you have people in your life who allow you to be your authentic self.
2) What is one food I love and one that I hate?
If your mom cooks and you have siblings, this question might be a sneaky way to find out who her favorite child is. If she knows that your favorite foods are but never cook them for you ever, that could be a sign that you might not be her favorite!
Anyway, this Q&A gives you the chance to tell mom just how much you have matured by showing her your adventurous palate. It also encourages her to serve your favorite meal the next time you visit her for dinner. Finally, use this opportunity to tell her that you don’t actually like the marshmallow Easter Peeps anymore.
3) What is something on my “bucket list”?
Evidently, you’re close to your mom because you won’t be playing a question game like this if you weren’t. Anyway, while mom may remember your mischievous deeds as a child, but does she know about the things you want to do before you kick the bucket?
Sharing an adventure or goal you have could lead to discussing something your mom wants to do, but still hasn’t done yet that may surprise you. It may give your mom a chance to help you make your dream a reality. There may be someone in her hiking group or her ladies church group who has connections that can help you meet that person or visit that place you have always wanted. Who knows, this could lead to a mother/child bucket list adventure!
4) What is one of my biggest pet peeves?
Here is another question that serves multiple purposes. First, it can show your mom just how much you’ve grown. And second, you can now handle wearing the same shoes as someone else at a party without batting an eye, while also opening the door to a non-aggressive way to share with your mom something she may do that drives you bonkers.
5) What is a decision I have made or something I have done that I regret?
No relationship grows without some vulnerability. This question not only helps you to see how much your mom knows you, depending on what she answers, it also tells you how much you have been sharing with mom. If she doesn’t know the true answer, it’s perhaps you haven’t been sharing with her to begin with.
Anyway, further discussions from this question can show her that you still find her to be that safe place and allow you both to celebrate how you have risen above some of your not-so-shining moments. It is a chance for your mom to remind you how unconditional her love is and there is never a bad time to be reminded of that.
6) What is something I’d like to change about myself?
You may find that this question gives your mom the opportunity to applaud and compliment you. Sometimes what we dislike about ourselves, like how we snort when we laugh or have a squinty smile, is what others find the most endearing. The question is also an opportunity to coerce some honest feedback from mom, which you can use to improve yourself.
7) If I were a character in a book or movie, who would I choose to be?
This is a perfect conversation starter for light-hearted and fun conversation. It can lead to learning more about you, such as what your favorite movies or books are. You can even take it a step further and the two of you could have a 2-person book club by reading a book together and having that to talk about and bond over.
8) If I am having a bad day, what is something that is guaranteed to cheer me up?
The subject of what makes us happy generally lifts everyone’s spirits. Mom will love knowing the answer to this one and will keep it close to her heart for when she needs it to brighten up one of your rainy days.
9) What are 3 words I would use to describe myself?
Moms know how they see you, and to an extent how the world sees you, but they may not know how you see yourself. How you see yourself gives a glimpse into your world perspective, which can really enlighten a mother as to the person their adult child really is.
10) Besides you, who is someone I really admire or look up to?
Talking to your mom about this can give a window to your future, into who you still want to become. It may inspire her to challenge herself to develop her own qualities, to be a person you admire even more.
Adulthood brings transitions of many kinds. One of those is the mother-child role into more of a friendship. It isn’t always the easiest or smoothest transition. Contrary to what the wisdom of many rom coms might suggest, everyone doesn’t have their mother as their instant best friend.
As with all relationships, mother-child relationships come in many shapes and sizes, none are perfect, and they ebb and flow over time. Perhaps, this list can help jump-start conversations and ensure that your mom not only knows your story from the beginning but that she is also an important character in it for as long as possible.