A healthy romantic relationship that is based on mutual love, trust, and compassion is everyone’s dream.
But there’s no such thing as a free lunch. Sustaining a relationship requires a lot of work, time, and devotion from both sides. Add distance to this already-complex human connection and you ‘spice’ things up even more.
In a long-distance relationship, you are placing an enormous amount of trust in your partner to remain faithful to you, and they are placing that same trust in you as well. But as with any relationship, sometimes the trust can be misplaced — as in the case of a cheating partner. But how do you tell if your partner — be it your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife — is seeing someone else?
Unlike conventional relationships, face-to-face communication is simply a luxury for long-distance lovers. The time you spend together physically is limited and is never enough. Without seeing him physically and observe his behavior, it can be hard to determine if he’s being unfaithful or is having some other issues.
But don’t worry… here is some information that will help you out.
Signs Your LDR Partner Could Be Cheating On You
Quick disclaimer. Even if your partner matches all of the signs below, don’t jump the gun and start a fight.
These are merely suggestions — little possibilities that may or may not indicate that he’s cheating on you with another girl (or guy).
However, you should really start paying closer attention if he shows one or more of these troubling signs. Even if he isn’t being unfaithful, these can be some serious red flags for a relationship.
With that out of the way, below are some behaviors that a cheating partner might demonstrate.
1. He is avoiding you
They’ve become more distant and started avoiding you.
Yes, the first couple of times you can justify that with them being busy or having a lot on their plate. However, if this behavior persists over a longer period of time — for more than a few weeks — then something is definitely wrong.
Many people see breaking up as something bad and they don’t want to deal with the consequences, that’s why they start to cheat as an easy way out. Or perhaps they aren’t sure how to break up with someone over the distance.
Anyway, what this speaks for them is that they are simply too cowardly to do the ‘dirty work’ and they are forcing your hand to do the job for them.
If you feel like your partner is avoiding you, ignoring your calls and being distant for a longer period, give them a week or two, and if this behavior continues, then you will need to have an open and honest discussion with them. Even if he isn’t cheating on you, this indicates that the relationship has some profound problems that need to be discussed.
2. He is keeping secrets from you
Your partner and you still talk regularly but you feel like he’s been holding back.
The two of you used to spend hours talking and had no secrets. But now there are certain topics that he avoids. He could be doing this skillfully, so pay attention to your conversation. Does he change the topic diplomatically whenever a certain topic comes up? Perhaps he would tell a joke instead of answering your directly your question? It’s not a crime to tell a joke but avoiding the same topic over and over again is definitely a huge red flag.
Another behavior that an unfaithful partner may demonstrate is having unreasonable mood swings all the time. He gets irritated whenever you ask them what they have been doing or where they were. Secretiveness and avoidance in combination with taking things too personally and lack of communication are the recipes for a cheating partner.
If you feel like this is happening in your relationship, try to have an honest non-confrontational conversation with him to figure out what is the root cause. Maybe he is going through some rough times and that he is the type that doesn’t talk about problems. Or maybe he is already seeing someone else and is waiting for you to get tired of them. This could be a sign that the relationship is headed for a breakup.
3. Worse: he is keeping YOU as a secret
Do you think it’s bad that he’s keeping secrets from you? Wait till you find out that his secret is YOU.
When a relationship is new, it’s normal to not know each other’s friends and family. But if none of his friends and family members know if your existence after a few months, that should definitely set off some kind of alarm.
Here are some ways to find out if he’s hiding your existence.
- He doesn’t have any photos of you on social media
- His relationship status is “In a Relationship” but it doesn’t say with who
- His relationship status is “Single”
- When you tag him on Facebook, he sets his tagged photos to Private.
- He can’t talk to you even for a minute when he’s out with friends and you call. Usually, this is fine, but you may want to pay more attention if this is becoming a pattern.
- He is ghosting you without a proper explanation
Speaking of ghosting…
4. Communication is breaking down
We are all busy trying to juggle our work, life, and everything in between. But let’s be real, something is wrong if you can’t even spare a few minutes to send a quick text message to someone you love to show that you care for them.
There is no excuse for not being able to call for days unless you are in some remote location with no phone. If the communication with your partner starts decreasing in both quantity and quality and you feel like they are only having small talks, no real, in-depth conversations, that LDR train is going to the wrong station.
Another sign of a deteriorating relationship due to communication is that the conversations are becoming less present with each passing day, and almost always you are the one initiating it. This may just be a subtle sign that he has found a more interesting lover. Even if he hasn’t, the interest level is definitely not what it used to be.
5. You’re being excluded from his social circle
This is closely related to sign #3 but in this case, you weren’t kept as a secret. You used to know all of their friends but nowadays you have no idea who he hangs out with.
He barely talks about his friends and when you call when they are hanging out, he could never find time for you — not even for a minute. This is one of the biggest alarming signs that your partner is cheating on you. He is pushing you out from his social circle. What could be the reason for this? Perhaps there’s now another party involved in this relationship?
6. Your partner stops showing interest in you
When we love someone we want to know everything there is to know about them. If it is a conventional relationship, then we do so by trying to stay in touch with them, seeing them as often as we could, chatting, and inviting them out. But if this is a long-distance relationship, the only way to stay engaged is pretty much through calls and messages.
If your partner stops calling you, asking you how your day was, or wanting to know anything that may be happening into your life, then chances are they are no longer interested in you as they used to. When we love someone we want to know how they are doing, how they feel, what is happening in their life, what are their plans, everything! People who cheat don’t care about this stuff and they start showing less interest in their long-distance relationship partner and even when they show it, they simply don’t consider your feelings and keep on having mood swings or insisting that you are overwhelming and dramatizing too much.
Does your partner show any of these worrying signs?
These are just some things to look out for that will provide some perspective. Don’t jump to conclusions, give them some time to see whether this is temporary. However, if their behavior doesn’t change and these signs keep repeating, then you should have a talk to see where your partner stands and where your relationship is going.