More and more couples are finding themselves living together under one roof nowadays. There are many reasons behind this trend: financial issues, desire to know each other deeply, independence from respective families, preparation for marriage, and a whole lot more.
Sadly, living together with your partner does not guarantee that you two will be together forever. As much as it pains us to say this, it doesn’t matter how long you two have been living together because at this point, you are ready to break up with your live-in partner.
How To Break Up With A Live-In Partner
Breaking up with someone you live with is one of the most difficult decisions someone has to make, relationship-wise. Not only you have to go through the emotional pain of breaking up with him, but you also have to go through the hassle of moving out and finding a new place. To save you from these struggles, we made a guide that will help you in breaking up with someone you live with as smoothly as possible. Here are some things you can do before, during, and after the breakup.
Before the breakup
Things to get ready before you’re ready for the breakup talk.
1. Take enough time to make sure what you exactly want.
You might have had amazing memories with this guy but it’s just not working out anymore. It is normal to have doubts before breaking up with your live-in boyfriend, especially if you have been living with him for a long time. Pretty much everyone has doubts before spilling the beans. That’s why it’s important for you to take as much time as you need to make sure of your decision.
2. Plan the details of your breakup accordingly.
Where are you going to break up with him? Are you going to do it at your place? Is there a pet you have to consider? How about your stuff? His stuff?
As you can see, there are a lot of questions you first have to address before breaking up with someone you live with. Make sure that these questions, at least those that need to be prioritized the most are addressed before you and your live-in partner have the breakup conversation.
You also have to keep in mind that breaking up with someone does not mean that either one of you should be booted out of your place in a whim. Living on the streets is not an option, so make sure the logistics and other important details are dealt with first.
During the breakup
Things to do and what to expect when you break up with someone you live with.
Step 1: Sit down for a healthy talk.
Having the dreaded breakup conversation is never easy, but you have to consider making it as healthy as possible. Choose a place where you two can sit down comfortably for a healthy conversation. You can start the talk by saying to your partner that you need to talk about something very important and for that, you need his full attention. Ask him to put his phone away and any other things that might distract him.
Step 2: Spill the beans.
After sitting down and making sure that you have your live-in boyfriend’s full attention, it’s time to tell him that you want to break up with him. It is best to be straightforward, but if you want to ease him into it, you can first thank him for all of the great memories you had together. You can say that you will always be grateful of him taking care of you and helping you around the house. Don’t try to exaggerate things though — a simple thanks will do.
Step 3: Tell him the reasons why you want a breakup.
The next step to take is to clearly tell him why you want to break up with him. You have to be as honest as possible, but have to be respectful as well. Make sure that there is as little blame as possible when you are telling him the reasons, especially because these reasons might be negative or offensive to him.
Step 4: Provide clear explanations
Giving the reasons why you want to break up with your boyfriend is not enough. You have to explain why you think these reasons are the dealbreakers. Be as clear as you can, doing so will let him know that you have given serious thought into the breakup. This will also prevent him from hanging onto you, and help him accept your decision.
After the breakup
In the aftermath.
1. Take action
Ending a relationship is nerve-wracking, especially if you broke up with someone you live with. Given the difficulty of the breakup, you have to take immediate action after the breakup. This means that you have to tell your former live-in partner all of the things you have planned for (as stated in the before the breakup section).
2. Have an agreement
After telling your ex about your plans, you have to arrive at an agreement which can enable you to settle things like who gets which, who should move out, who pays for which, and many more. Make sure that both parties are treated fairly in the agreement.
Breaking up with someone you live with is probably one of the hardest things you have to do in your entire life. Despite the pain and hassle caused by it, make sure that you remain compassionate and polite after the breakup. Always take into mind that your ex was a person you’ve spent every single day of your life with for the past months or years. Additionally, consider this as an opportunity for you to grow and develop your character.
Perhaps, he is not just the one, or this is not the right time for both of you. After all, no one really knows what the future may hold.