A Dating Guide on Taking a Break from Being In A Relationship
If your relationship shows these signs, it might be time for you to plan for a break. Another time to consider taking some time off from the dating game would be after a breakup. A dating hiatus helps to cleanse your soul and mind, allowing you to plan for the future in a level-headed manner.
Topics covered in this relationship guide:-
- What Does Dating Hiatus Mean
- Signs You Need a Break
- Benefits of a Hiatus
- Rules & Goals of a Dating Break
“We were on a break!” is a very popular expression that has been around since Ross blurted it out in an episode of Friends, one of the best sitcoms of all time, to justify his actions against the unsuspecting, sweet Rachel. Due to this, the seemingly perfect couple’s relationship became a mess. Their relationship was ruined not because they don’t love each other anymore, but because Ross and Rachel have different definitions of taking a break. That is why it is crucial to know what this break really means for you and your lover before it even happens.
Let us start by saying that not all relationships are perfect. This is a well-known fact. Even couples who have survived the odds and worked things out actually considered a dating break at one point in their relationship. So, if you are considering going on a dating hiatus, too, don’t worry, because it is just normal for relationships to have ups and downs especially if a couple has been together for a long time.
The most common definition of a break
It means that the couple decided to spend some time away from each other. The two lovers haven’t officially broken up, but they do not do things together anymore as much as when they did in an official relationship. Technically, they are still boyfriend and girlfriend, but they do not do things that a couple who aren’t in a break does. This might mean that they are not having sex with each other, not texting each other as much as before, and not going out on date nights.
If you find these symptoms, maybe it’s time to take a break.
1. You lack time for other things you used to enjoy.
Imagine this, you are traveling to somewhere new, and you feel so excited about it. You snap back to reality, facing your partner and cannot help but wonder about the things you used to enjoy. You used to have enough time to enjoy your passion, but now, you just don’t because you have to take care of your partner and make sure they get all the time they need from you. If you feel this, do not hesitate to ask for a break.
2. You are on the verge of giving up on the relationship.
There are times when you just don’t feel a connection to your partner anymore. Everything you do in the name of the relationship is just a simple routine (or worse one of these routines that predict failing relationship). Things you do are not done not out of pure love anymore, but out of huge pressure.
3. You are always fighting.
Having fights is normal in a relationship, but when the fights happen regularly, perhaps it’s time to cool things off by giving each other some space to think clearly. When small things such as leaving the door open and getting the wrong brand of milk cause you and your partner to fight, then that’s a red flag right there.
Reasons why you should need a break from a romantic relationship.
1. You can know yourself more.
One of the best benefits is getting to know yourself more. When you are dating someone, you always feel the need to meet his or her expectations. Due to this, you have a tendency not to be your most genuine self all the time. When you spend time away from your lover, you have more time to get to know yourself and be the best version of yourself.
2. You can deal with things outside of your relationship.
Being in a relationship means that you have to devote your time to your partner, and because of this, you unconsciously neglect other things outside of your relationship. Perhaps you have a not-so-good relationship with your family. Perhaps you are neglecting your best friends. Taking a breather from dating can benefit you because it can allow you to settle things with other people you might not have given enough attention to.
3. You can know whether he or she is the one.
Taking some time off means that you can have a sneak peek of how you’ll feel when you and your lover break up. This might not be the best way to do that, since a break does not mean you have officially broken up with each other, but it can be very helpful. Who knows, a break might be the thing that makes you realize that you’re ready for a lifelong commitment.
Goals and Rules
The definition of going on a hiatus can vary from couple to couple since every relationship is unique. Whatever the definition a couple agrees on, here are a couple of guidelines that can be followed to make sure all things are crystal clear. And to avoid ending up like Rachel and Ross (again, Friends reference).
1. Set some goals.
It is important for you and your partner to set some goals. Why are you doing this? This will force you to review your decision. Do you need a break or a breakup?
The goals must be set to solve problems or challenges you encountered while you were still in a relationship. For example, if you and your partner were always in each other’s hair all the time, you can set a goal of respecting each other’s personal space.
2. Determine when the break ends.
You and your partner should agree on how long the break should be, so that you two can manage your time apart from each other properly, and use that time wisely to improve your relationship. There are some couples that only take a few weeks off, while others take several months. At the end of the break, make sure that you and your partner meet and thoroughly discuss how the break went and what to do next.
3. Set rules
Come up with questions. Answer them by setting rules that the two of you should abide by. Some questions to ask are: Can you see other people? Can you have sex with each other? Should you not text each other? Should you not see each other at all? Rules are meant to be set beforehand so that the break will go smoothly and you two will know what to exactly expect from each other.
Deciding to take a break doesn’t mean that you two are selfish. It just means that you need time apart to know more about yourselves, fix certain issues, and rekindle the relationship.